Ah, yes, SPAM. If you have ever had a website live on the internet you’ve most likely been inundated with a tremendous amount of the stuff. Everything from ED drugs to that really nice prince in Zimbabwe that wants to send you $14 million he just needs your bank account first. This SPAM is, sad to say, to be expected. What really kind of ticks me off is the constant barrage of UNSOLICITED link exchange emails that we receive here every day. Dear God people what is it 2001?

That brings us to today’s most recent email. Read and Enjoy.

Spammer: Hi,
Me: Hi!

Spammer: My name is Madison Rogers, Web Marketing Consultant.
Me: Well, Madison Rogers, Web Marketing Consultant, are you sure your real name isn’t something like Raghavendra, Internet Spammer? Because your IP suggests your name really isn’t Madison nor Rogers.

Spammer: I’ve greatly enjoyed looking through your site      InsertSiteNameHere.com
Me: Thanks Madison Rogers, Web Marketing Consultant. We worked really hard to make sure that you, yourself, would enjoy it. The question is why did you use so many spaces between site and the domain? It almost looks like automated software made this email. I know you Madison Rogers, Web Marketing Consultant, would never do something like that.

Spammer: I was wondering if you’d be interested in exchanging links with my website, which has a related subject.
Me: A related subject? Is that like an Aunt or Uncle or more like a second cousin once removed?

Spammer: I can offer you a HOME PAGE link back from my Online Business Guide websites which are:
http://1-800-business411.com with page rank 5
http://theworldmilecompany.org/ with page rank 3
Me: Gee, Madison Rogers, Web Marketing Consultant that sounds a lot like triangle exchanges. Kinda 2001 isnt it? Kinda against Googles TOS isn’t it? Also coincidentally why don’t you include this so called site within this spa… uh I mean Email?

Spammer: If you are interested, please send me the following details of your site:
TITLE: URL:
Me: Well, that’s really odd shouldn’t you already have both of those?

Spammer: I’ll add your link as soon as possible, in the next 24 hours.
Me: Well, which is it? As soon as possible or in the next 24 hours. If you’re going to send emails like this out you should really be more clear about your time frames.

Spammer: As soon as it’s ready, I’ll send you a confirmation email along with the information (TITLE and URL) regarding my site to placed at yours.
Me: Sounds real simple. “To placed at yours”? If one is trying to sound half way professional one should make use of somewhat proper English, MADISON ROGERS, Web Marketing Consultant.

Spammer: I hope you have a nice day and thank you for your time.
Kindest regard
Madison Rogers
madison.rogers@theworldmilecompany.org
Web Marketing Consultant
Me: Ah, well, you too.

Spammer’s Disclaimer:
PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS NOT A SPAM OR AUTOMATED EMAIL, IT’S ONLY A REQUEST FOR A LINK EXCHANGE. YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS HAS NOT BEEN ADDED TO ANY LISTS, AND YOU WILL NOT BE CONTACTED AGAIN.IF YOU’D LIKE TO MAKE SURE WE DON’T CONTACT YOU AGAIN, PLEASE FILL IN THE FOLLOWING FORM:

HTTP://WWW.NOMOREMAILS.COM; OR WRITE AN EMAIL TO STOP@NOMOREMAILS.COM.

PLEASE ACCEPT OUR APOLOGIES FOR CONTACTING YOU.

BS its not Spam. I love how there is an apology for the Spam, like that somehow makes it ok. Hopefully with enough posts on this site we can kind of get the word out on these guys and reduce some of this useless SPAM.